Archive for September 2014

The Geek Critique is the Best in the World*   Leave a comment

Gizmonic Industries Inc. LLC is pleased to announce that US-based Geek Critique has been named the best company in the world, so long as we define “companies” as “YouTube channels run by people named Josh Wallen.”

The selection was based on “margin performance” and “year-on-year growth” in a “number” of “financial” metrics in “2014.”

“We congratulate The Geek Critique and Josh Wallen for outstanding growth in profits and sales in 2014, as well as operating margins,” said Mr. Guyersonalopolis, Global Editor of Gizmonic, before taking a swig of the Drink for Men.

“I mean, the company made $0 in 2013, and has made at least one or two dollars this year, so anything counts as explosive growth,” he added.

Net income surged 1.2 billion percent, to upwards of $70. Wait, how does that make sense? Anything times $0 should still be $0, right? Oh, screw it.

“Due to the strength of our core businesses and strong cash generation, TGC has delivered four consecutive months of earnings growth and we are on track to continue growing in 2014,” said Josh Wallen, chairman and CEO of The Geek Critique.

“Our strong financial position gives us the flexibility to set a brand trajectory using management’s philosophy with strong commitment to quality effectively enhancing corporate synergy, transitioning our company by awareness of functionality, promoting visibility and providing our supply chain with diversity. I remain confident that we will continue to create value and deliver growth in the years to come, or at least for the next month or two,” he added.

Posted September 24, 2014 by positivejosh in Uncategorized